Thursday, September 17, 2009
Rachell787-Oops!
Sorry-I don't remember what we were talking about, beyond the fact that teenagers smell. But I would say that the 7, 8 and 7 in your web alias add up to 22-my favorite number! Y'all write back now, ya hear?
Re-Miss
A couple old posts got lost in the Shaw-ffle when I changed my blog around. My apologies to Rachell787 and meggieD-for your weird names-what were your parents thinking!
Firstly, meggieD wanted some stories about Woods Surround Us, the group home for teenagers where I work. I shared 2, one about a kid, the other involving an animal and fire.
1) Geroni-NNNNOOO!!!
BJ was the reckless type. He made his own bike ramp by resting a 2-by-4 on a flat basketball. He surf-sled into chain link fences. He dove off quarry ledges into waterholes of dubious depth-you get the picture!
Well, BJ played one too many games of 'Me Tarzan, You Jane' with Crystal, another staff. Jumping from tree to tree one sticky August night 2 years back, BJ landed on a dead branch that fell out from under, crashing him 40 feet straight down on his wrists! Ouch!
Several years and painful surgeries later, poor BJ still can't reach up any higher than his shoulders. So when he tries to dance The YMCA at a wedding or barbecue, he looks like an old security guard on the receiving end of a bank hold-up-"Here, take my wallet. Just please don't hurt me. I have grandchildren!"
2) Animal and fire.
The aforementioned Crystal has been a good chum for years. She used to work awake overnights with me, except she handled the girls. Something happened about a year ago. I remember the leaves were changing. Crystal started acting kinda funny.
Crystal always loved animals, said she 'identified with them'. Something about them being sweet, funny and furry. ( Crystal had a slight mustache problem. The Woods Surround Us staff skipped our Christmas party one year and put all of the catering money toward some electrolysis, which instead of helping actually seemed to worsen the situation somehow. More hair started showing up in Crystal's nostrils and on her earlobes, although maybe there was no connection. )
So anyway-at my work's last 4th of July party, it became Crystal-clear to me that my old comrade-in-arms required a little R & R...
Every year Woods Surround Us hosts a big summer shindig for the residents and their families, staff, neighbors, pretty much anyone. It's an all day affair. Last year at 3:00pm ( I remember the time because that's when General Hospital is on ABC, even though I don't watch it anymore. )-I was going into the kitchen for more potato salad, donated and done up just right by my wife Sandy.
Crystal was crouched under the sink, changing the garbage, I figured. But who was she talking to?...
"Chester, you CAN'T come in here! We DISCUSSED this. I'll save you some chips and salsa, but the chicken is undercooked. Give it back to me this instant! You KNOW the dangers of salmonella. Think of the little ones!"
I would like to say that Chester was speaking to a Woods Surround Us resident. Or a person. No such luck-Crystal was actually arguing with a wayward field mouse stuck under the sink, his little tail wrapped around a pipe.
Thinking fast, I asked Crystal if she could please bring a small bowl of fruit salad outside to Julio's grandmother, and I would free Chester. Against her better judgment, Crystal agreed.
I got Chester out of there and called up another coworker, Vance, at home. We took it upon ourselves to monitor the Crystal situation.
Which leads me to the fire story. Two weeks after the 4th of July party, Crystal was working her usual Tuesday overnight. Hungry for a snack, she tried to nuke some Ramen noodles in the microwave and punched in her 7-digit cell phone number instead of the very clearly labeled 3 minute required cooking time. The resulting minor explosion set off the fire alarm, of course, and when the truck and ambulance came, Crystal wasn't wearing any pants, and she kept blaming her mistake on the CIA.
...Suffice it to say, my friend is taking a well-needed break from the stresses of residential treatment. After she becomes stabilized with a combination of therapy and medications, I look forward with great anticipation to welcoming Crystal back to the fold!
Firstly, meggieD wanted some stories about Woods Surround Us, the group home for teenagers where I work. I shared 2, one about a kid, the other involving an animal and fire.
1) Geroni-NNNNOOO!!!
BJ was the reckless type. He made his own bike ramp by resting a 2-by-4 on a flat basketball. He surf-sled into chain link fences. He dove off quarry ledges into waterholes of dubious depth-you get the picture!
Well, BJ played one too many games of 'Me Tarzan, You Jane' with Crystal, another staff. Jumping from tree to tree one sticky August night 2 years back, BJ landed on a dead branch that fell out from under, crashing him 40 feet straight down on his wrists! Ouch!
Several years and painful surgeries later, poor BJ still can't reach up any higher than his shoulders. So when he tries to dance The YMCA at a wedding or barbecue, he looks like an old security guard on the receiving end of a bank hold-up-"Here, take my wallet. Just please don't hurt me. I have grandchildren!"
2) Animal and fire.
The aforementioned Crystal has been a good chum for years. She used to work awake overnights with me, except she handled the girls. Something happened about a year ago. I remember the leaves were changing. Crystal started acting kinda funny.
Crystal always loved animals, said she 'identified with them'. Something about them being sweet, funny and furry. ( Crystal had a slight mustache problem. The Woods Surround Us staff skipped our Christmas party one year and put all of the catering money toward some electrolysis, which instead of helping actually seemed to worsen the situation somehow. More hair started showing up in Crystal's nostrils and on her earlobes, although maybe there was no connection. )
So anyway-at my work's last 4th of July party, it became Crystal-clear to me that my old comrade-in-arms required a little R & R...
Every year Woods Surround Us hosts a big summer shindig for the residents and their families, staff, neighbors, pretty much anyone. It's an all day affair. Last year at 3:00pm ( I remember the time because that's when General Hospital is on ABC, even though I don't watch it anymore. )-I was going into the kitchen for more potato salad, donated and done up just right by my wife Sandy.
Crystal was crouched under the sink, changing the garbage, I figured. But who was she talking to?...
"Chester, you CAN'T come in here! We DISCUSSED this. I'll save you some chips and salsa, but the chicken is undercooked. Give it back to me this instant! You KNOW the dangers of salmonella. Think of the little ones!"
I would like to say that Chester was speaking to a Woods Surround Us resident. Or a person. No such luck-Crystal was actually arguing with a wayward field mouse stuck under the sink, his little tail wrapped around a pipe.
Thinking fast, I asked Crystal if she could please bring a small bowl of fruit salad outside to Julio's grandmother, and I would free Chester. Against her better judgment, Crystal agreed.
I got Chester out of there and called up another coworker, Vance, at home. We took it upon ourselves to monitor the Crystal situation.
Which leads me to the fire story. Two weeks after the 4th of July party, Crystal was working her usual Tuesday overnight. Hungry for a snack, she tried to nuke some Ramen noodles in the microwave and punched in her 7-digit cell phone number instead of the very clearly labeled 3 minute required cooking time. The resulting minor explosion set off the fire alarm, of course, and when the truck and ambulance came, Crystal wasn't wearing any pants, and she kept blaming her mistake on the CIA.
...Suffice it to say, my friend is taking a well-needed break from the stresses of residential treatment. After she becomes stabilized with a combination of therapy and medications, I look forward with great anticipation to welcoming Crystal back to the fold!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Same Bat Time ( Same Bat Station )
Hey Pals!
Had some internet issues. But I'm back in the saddle with a new blog-www.tinfroyde.blogspot.com and a new email-shawtinfroyde@netzero.com. You reckon I can help with anything?
Had some internet issues. But I'm back in the saddle with a new blog-www.tinfroyde.blogspot.com and a new email-shawtinfroyde@netzero.com. You reckon I can help with anything?
Old Post #16-What's Black and White and Red All Over?
No, not a newspaper. Me!-Embarassed that Kanye West tried to take Taylor Swift's microphone during the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards. There are some lines you just don't cross, Mr.West-"How could you be so heartless?"And Taylor, sleep well. We'll all be back there for you first thing in the morning-Hannah Montana cooking up some 'sweet niblets', Willie Nelson on standby in his next door tour bus with a doobie at the ready, Dolly Parton sitting at your trailer kitchen table, tossing back a little shine and dispensing downhome precious words to live by through the next poopy week or 2 before this tornado blows out of town. Stay strong, sympathetic and some kinda sexy, Miss Swift, and you shall overcome!
Old Post #15-Softball's For Girls ( Or Not ), Part 2
Hey pals,Rachell787's recent comment on a blog I wrote turned my head ( and turned my stomach at the prospect of maybe having to say I'm sorry to all you ladies out there! ) So here's my original blog, Rachell787's comments and my response. Chime in, gang!...
Softball's for GirlsAt our staff meeting last week, the Program Director Gerry at Woods Surround Us said that he wants to start a sports league. Beckett for Boys, another group home, has a great baseball diamond and outside football field, basketball court and swimming pool. ( Beckett apparently has a large endowment that allows them to buy and maintain such facilities. ) The Director at Beckett has proposed that the 6 group homes scattered throughout northern New Hampshire start a league, meet every Sunday afternoon from noon until 3:00pm and play alternating sports-soccer one week, basketball the next, then softball...Softball?Where is it written that every man over the age of 18 has to switch from playing baseball to softball? Is it because baseballs are smaller and harder and hurt more when you're hit by a pitch, get lost in the woods easier when you belt a homer, feel awesome at the end of your bat when you nail a game-winning double in the gap?I just don't get it. Smacking a softball-Where's the payoff? It's like hitting a wrapped-up wet towel, a kid's backpack or a chunk of sod.And softball is baseball in slow motion. I don't need an extra 10 minutes to turn a double play. No leading and stealing!? Who came up with this one? Or softball in the first place? Did Abner Doubleday have a cousin who never got picked to be on a team? And did this cousin run off and attempt to start a new American pastime? Well, it worked! Are you happy now!?All the standing around. Pitching underhanded. Going out later for appetizers and drinks and talking about work. I'm sorry, but softball is for girls.Bring back baseball. Kids play it still. Any man who doesn't have a son already playing can re-learn the sport by watching games on tv. And we can make any necessary adjustments.-Helmets for all fielders who are scared of being bonked, a 10-run scoring rule to prevent embarassing losses at the hands of much larger companies' teams. Each game the losers could be made to sneak a case of O'Doul's to dinner so no alcoholics present feel unfairly pressured to drink.Your thoughts?
2 comments:rachell787 said...After high school graduation, the only option to continue playing some form of softball was creating an intramural coed softball team at my college (unless, of course, I wanted to throw my studies by the wayside and allow a Division II fastpitch women's league to monopolize my time and all the hard work I've invested in my education...). I happened to be one of two girls on the team, the minimum requirement for making it coed, and I happen to think the guys on the team had a really great time. As a matter of fact, I've played on at least three different adult coed teams since then and I'm going to pull out the old saying "Don't knock it 'til you try it". I normally disagree completely with that phrase, bringing drugs and other illegal and immoral activities to mind when I object to it, but in this case, it's very true. You'd be surprised how much fun it is, mainly because there is so much more action than the slow-moving, fastpitch, overhand baseball game. The pitcher lobs in that big, fat, watermelon of a HARD softball (Have you ever felt a softball? Do you know that it's not actually soft, or that it doesn't feel like a "wet towel"?) and the hitter gets to hit it, pretty much every time (unless you suck or perhaps it's your first time playing slow-pitch softball) and strategically place, based on where your feet are and where you turn your hips and body, the ball where you can get on base. Additionally, it doesn't take longer to turn a double play because the base paths are considerably shorter than a baseball diamond's (Unless, of course, you don't know how or can't throw a softball...) And obviously, due to the nature of the slowwwww pitch coming into home plate, there is no leading a stealing, but you'd be surprised how far some people (even girls, like myself!) can hit those softballs and just how fun it can be to run around the bases. In a real coed softball game, there is no standing around - the game is very much alive, and you'll find it relies much more on the teamwork and communication defensively in addition to "clutch" hitting, rather than putting all the pressure on a pitcher to strike out every batter or only let them hit ground balls to the infield. You described one of the discrepancies between baseball and softball as involving how "awesome" it feels to hit the game-winning double, implying that you don't normally get that feeling in softball, but I beg to differ. Softball does have that, even more often than baseball, I would argue. And softball is for girls? The only times I remember feeling so awesome when I hit that "wrapped-up wet towel" were times when my doubles and triples sailed over the male center fielders' heads because they thought softball is for girls and only guys could hit it out that far. Pretty sweet. You'll often find, depending on the league, that the girls who play with the guys are just as able to hit those gappers and burn you in the outfield, and that coed softball isn't just for girls, that the competition is relatively even between the genders. I would also speak for my male teammates, and even my boyfriend whom I met playing on my summer coed softball team, when I say that the guys enjoy coed softball just as much as the girls do. Not for the drinking, as you implied, but because everyone is involved and it's a great social activity where you can stay active and most importantly have fun while doing it. I would highly recommend at some point in your years joining a coed team. I, and my male and female teammates, always look forward to the games on the summer weeknights, and consider it one of the better activities I spend my time participating in.
Shaw Tinfroyde said...Why, thank you, rachell787, for your very thoughful reply to my blurb on softball! Yes, most coed activities are great. And sure, women are underrated as hitters, fielders, pitchers, accountants, truck drivers-life remains an uphill battle for your gender in the face of daily discrimination, but keep that pedal to the medal, and drive right around the occasional broken down old Pinto like me parked too far off the curb! As the merits of your case slowly seep into my stereotype-laden mind, stay tuned, sweetie-I may yet agree with you!
Softball's for GirlsAt our staff meeting last week, the Program Director Gerry at Woods Surround Us said that he wants to start a sports league. Beckett for Boys, another group home, has a great baseball diamond and outside football field, basketball court and swimming pool. ( Beckett apparently has a large endowment that allows them to buy and maintain such facilities. ) The Director at Beckett has proposed that the 6 group homes scattered throughout northern New Hampshire start a league, meet every Sunday afternoon from noon until 3:00pm and play alternating sports-soccer one week, basketball the next, then softball...Softball?Where is it written that every man over the age of 18 has to switch from playing baseball to softball? Is it because baseballs are smaller and harder and hurt more when you're hit by a pitch, get lost in the woods easier when you belt a homer, feel awesome at the end of your bat when you nail a game-winning double in the gap?I just don't get it. Smacking a softball-Where's the payoff? It's like hitting a wrapped-up wet towel, a kid's backpack or a chunk of sod.And softball is baseball in slow motion. I don't need an extra 10 minutes to turn a double play. No leading and stealing!? Who came up with this one? Or softball in the first place? Did Abner Doubleday have a cousin who never got picked to be on a team? And did this cousin run off and attempt to start a new American pastime? Well, it worked! Are you happy now!?All the standing around. Pitching underhanded. Going out later for appetizers and drinks and talking about work. I'm sorry, but softball is for girls.Bring back baseball. Kids play it still. Any man who doesn't have a son already playing can re-learn the sport by watching games on tv. And we can make any necessary adjustments.-Helmets for all fielders who are scared of being bonked, a 10-run scoring rule to prevent embarassing losses at the hands of much larger companies' teams. Each game the losers could be made to sneak a case of O'Doul's to dinner so no alcoholics present feel unfairly pressured to drink.Your thoughts?
2 comments:rachell787 said...After high school graduation, the only option to continue playing some form of softball was creating an intramural coed softball team at my college (unless, of course, I wanted to throw my studies by the wayside and allow a Division II fastpitch women's league to monopolize my time and all the hard work I've invested in my education...). I happened to be one of two girls on the team, the minimum requirement for making it coed, and I happen to think the guys on the team had a really great time. As a matter of fact, I've played on at least three different adult coed teams since then and I'm going to pull out the old saying "Don't knock it 'til you try it". I normally disagree completely with that phrase, bringing drugs and other illegal and immoral activities to mind when I object to it, but in this case, it's very true. You'd be surprised how much fun it is, mainly because there is so much more action than the slow-moving, fastpitch, overhand baseball game. The pitcher lobs in that big, fat, watermelon of a HARD softball (Have you ever felt a softball? Do you know that it's not actually soft, or that it doesn't feel like a "wet towel"?) and the hitter gets to hit it, pretty much every time (unless you suck or perhaps it's your first time playing slow-pitch softball) and strategically place, based on where your feet are and where you turn your hips and body, the ball where you can get on base. Additionally, it doesn't take longer to turn a double play because the base paths are considerably shorter than a baseball diamond's (Unless, of course, you don't know how or can't throw a softball...) And obviously, due to the nature of the slowwwww pitch coming into home plate, there is no leading a stealing, but you'd be surprised how far some people (even girls, like myself!) can hit those softballs and just how fun it can be to run around the bases. In a real coed softball game, there is no standing around - the game is very much alive, and you'll find it relies much more on the teamwork and communication defensively in addition to "clutch" hitting, rather than putting all the pressure on a pitcher to strike out every batter or only let them hit ground balls to the infield. You described one of the discrepancies between baseball and softball as involving how "awesome" it feels to hit the game-winning double, implying that you don't normally get that feeling in softball, but I beg to differ. Softball does have that, even more often than baseball, I would argue. And softball is for girls? The only times I remember feeling so awesome when I hit that "wrapped-up wet towel" were times when my doubles and triples sailed over the male center fielders' heads because they thought softball is for girls and only guys could hit it out that far. Pretty sweet. You'll often find, depending on the league, that the girls who play with the guys are just as able to hit those gappers and burn you in the outfield, and that coed softball isn't just for girls, that the competition is relatively even between the genders. I would also speak for my male teammates, and even my boyfriend whom I met playing on my summer coed softball team, when I say that the guys enjoy coed softball just as much as the girls do. Not for the drinking, as you implied, but because everyone is involved and it's a great social activity where you can stay active and most importantly have fun while doing it. I would highly recommend at some point in your years joining a coed team. I, and my male and female teammates, always look forward to the games on the summer weeknights, and consider it one of the better activities I spend my time participating in.
Shaw Tinfroyde said...Why, thank you, rachell787, for your very thoughful reply to my blurb on softball! Yes, most coed activities are great. And sure, women are underrated as hitters, fielders, pitchers, accountants, truck drivers-life remains an uphill battle for your gender in the face of daily discrimination, but keep that pedal to the medal, and drive right around the occasional broken down old Pinto like me parked too far off the curb! As the merits of your case slowly seep into my stereotype-laden mind, stay tuned, sweetie-I may yet agree with you!
Old Post #14-Iconoclash!
Whitney Houston is going on the Oprah Winfrey Show?! Oh, boy! Gentlemen, start your engines! Diva-va-vrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooommmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Old Post #13-Uncle Sam Wants...Me?!
Quick thought-Just how 'selective' is Selective Service anyway? I hear anyone between 18 and 40's gotta go if they're drafted, except if you have flat feet or you're gay and stuff.
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