Old Post #8-Softball's for Girls

At our staff meeting last week, the Program Director Gerry at Woods Surround Us said that he wants to start a sports league. Beckett for Boys, another group home, has a great baseball diamond and outside football field, basketball court and swimming pool. ( Beckett apparently has a large endowment that allows them to buy and maintain such facilities. ) The Director at Beckett has proposed that the 6 group homes scattered throughout northern New Hampshire start a league, meet every Sunday afternoon from noon until 3:00pm and play alternating sports-soccer one week, basketball the next, then softball...Softball?
Where is it written that every man over the age of 18 has to switch from playing baseball to softball? Is it because baseballs are smaller and harder and hurt more when you're hit by a pitch, get lost in the woods easier when you belt a homer, feel awesome at the end of your bat when you nail a game-winning double in the gap?I just don't get it.
Smacking a softball-Where's the payoff? It's like hitting a wrapped-up wet towel, a kid's backpack or a chunk of sod. And softball is baseball in slow motion. I don't need an extra 10 minutes to turn a double play. No leading and stealing!? Who came up with this one? Or softball in the first place? Did Abner Doubleday have a cousin who never got picked to be on a team? And did this cousin run off and attempt to start a new American pastime? Well, it worked! Are you happy now!?
All the standing around. Pitching underhanded. Going out after the game for appetizers and drinks and talking about work. I'm sorry, but softball is for girls. Bring back baseball. Kids play it still. Any man who doesn't have a son already playing can re-learn the sport by watching games on tv. And we can make any necessary adjustments.-Helmets for all fielders who are scared of being bonked, a 10-run mercy scoring rule to prevent embarassing losses at the hands of much better teams. And after each contest, the losers could be forced to sneak a case of O'Doul's into the restaurant for dinner so any alcoholics present can drink / not drink. Your thoughts?